Finland 2024: Windows95man with ‘No Rules!’

In a result upsetting the purists, Windows95man and his uncredited look-alike vocalist made full use of UMK’s televote bias to make the short trip to Sweden:

I’ll be honest, I do have a soft spot on occasion for the ridiculous (with the exception of last year's Croatian entry) and this certainly fits the bill. Sending this is an easy decision to ridicule and poke fun at, but there is an argument this was Finland's best option to score well from the performances we got. ‘Paskana’ had a higher ceiling as it’s possible to get the televote with that whereas this is jury anathema, but that's not an entry I particularly believed in and carried it’s own risk.

To state what shouldn't need stating, this has a 0% chance at winning the contest, assuming juries play even a 25% role as they did at UMK. If you're backing this in the 30s, you better be merely trading or be banking on the juries having been binned by stealth from the final. If seeing over 2 seconds of this wasn't enough, finishing last in UMK jury voting tells you all there is to know about appeal with that side of the vote. There’s not even a good vocal or as far as I can see any pretentions over this having a message to appeal to juries -ie anti-war, feminism, equality etc. The ‘No Rules’ tag is less of a serious statement and more a vehicle for nonsense and this will be very lucky to escape the bottom 5 of jury voting.

The televote is harder to estimate and there’s a wide range this could fall in, I’d mainly be guessing the 5th-15th range in the final which this should reach without a great amount of issue. This is catchy, memorable and whilst it doesn’t improve upon Kaarija, is a good tribute act that can capitalise on expectations from Finland at the contest, sometimes it’s fine to play up to the stereotype. A semi win is possible should Europe be in a silly mood, but the powerful Ukraine are in this semi and the incoming Baby Lasagna for Croatia will split a section of the vote. Potential semi closer for the second year in a row if Luxembourg are not given the honour. Overall, I’d guess this makes the left side but a flop is not impossible either.

Personal Rating: 8/10

Competitve Rating: 6/10

Early Prediction: Semi 1 2nd-5th, 8th-12th in the final